Throughout my life, I've always had a problem with trust. It's almost always come back to bite me in the ass. I'm extremely trusting of everyone I meet, and I can't change that no matter how hard I try. I feel really guilty if I do.
The most recent example of this is our apartment complex. It's falling apart, right now. Management won't fix it or even look at it. Property of ours has been damaged (the main one that pissed me off was my motorcycle), and they won't reimburse us when it was done directly by their actions. All this, and I still have trouble being firm with my points when I speak to anyone in the office.
Today, I have to get us out of our lease. Once I do that, I have to sign a lease on a new apartment. That one has me worried, because I'm going to be too trusting again. I've come to learn that will never change, and I guess I can accept that now with my diagnosis.
Social behavior is usually something that those of us with Asperger's Syndrome can't understand or learn very easily. I understand that sometimes people lie when it benefits them. I don't understand the concept fully, because I don't have this behavior. Because of that, I can't tell when I'm hearing a lie and when I'm hearing the truth.
This is a huge disability, when it comes to fitting in with normal society. I only have a black & white understanding on honesty. I trust any person I meet until they cross me more often then not, then I won't trust them at all.
Let's hope that things improve with this new apartment complex because I don't expect them to do so here, now.
(pictures is of my dog, Tumble)
2 comments:
5 years later....
I am an aspie with the identical issues. I trust everyone. It's gotten me into a lot of trouble in relationships, as well as financial ones. One of the bad things for me is when someone does - inevitably - break my trust, I find it very hurtful in relationships, and professionally, I get angry with myself and them (though I don't act out on it.)
Also, the process, which has been repeated so many times over the years, has made me less and less happy with humanity. Still, when I meet a stranger, I assume they are honest.
No fixes, here. Just saying you aren't alone...
I thought I could be someone who could deal with a normal life once. It all looked so easy and happy. Meeting someone who will become your best friend for life, getting married having babies like everyone else. I didn't know myself very well then but I've been learning over the years after all the stupid things I've done that affected others more than I understood. And because I can't understand from another's perspective, I can't truly trust if they really minded anything I said or did made them feel awkward, offended or unimpressed. I'm too socially awkward to adapt and learn from a second person's perspective. I'll never see myself through another's eyes. So the best I can do is compensate for it with as much niceness as I can bestow. I'm starting my first serious relationship and I'm scared to the point of acting and talking like an idiot. Because I know I disappoint people, I can't trust that anyone truly understands and forgives me.
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