My wrist

I've had wrist problems almost my whole life. The furthest back I really remember it was in 4th grade. Writing in cursive was one of the most painful things I went through while in school, and it was a requirement. No one believed me back then.

I don't think my parents caught on to the truth until I was out of high school and the complaining about pain didn't stop. Once it didn't seem like I was being lazy to get out of school work, they finally believed me that I was in agony doing anything that used my right wrist.

When I was 19, I finally saw a doctor. They told me that it must be carpal tunnel but I had to beg to get tested. Their reasoning was that I'd been using computers my whole life and computers cause that. Problem is, I'd been playing piano just as long, and I was taught very early the proper way to hold my wrists to prevent strain and damage.

When I was tested for carpal tunnel, it came back negative. Tendonitis was ruled out due to the prolonged duration of the symptoms. Without any further testing, I was told I had arthritis and it was left at that. My hand and wrist were never x-rayed. Shortly afterward, I became uninsured (when my parents fell ill with cancer). I haven't been tested since.

Over the past year or two, the pain in my wrist has gotten worse and worse every day. What I used to feel only when exerting myself heavily, I now feel almost 24/7. On top of that, I now have a hard mass inside my wrist that has continued to increase in size to where it's visible from the outside.

Why does this trouble me so much? It's because my symptoms echo those of a bone tumor (which can appear on bone or tendon). Granted, the vast majority of the time, those are benign. However, in cases where they're neglected as long as mine has been, the only form of removal is amputation. That would result in the complete loss of my right hand.

I'm trying not to get worked up about this too much, as I'm still waiting to see a doctor (I have insurance now, I just have to wait as none are seeing new patients at the moment). Still the thought is VERY worrying.

As much of a major life change as something like a full (dominant) hand amputation would bring, I'm worrying about something trivial in the broad spectrum; one of my autistic obsessive niche interests: video games. They can't be played with one hand.

This is why I've lately been on such a kick, playing everything I can get ahold of. Buying an XBox360 and getting my PS2 and PSP. There are a handful of Wii and DS games I would still be able to play one handed, but the number is much lower than I would like.

I honestly think losing my hand would be easier of a transition than losing one of my niche interests. Hopefully it won't come to pass, but we'll have to wait and see.

Diet

My diet has always been a point of interest for family and friends. I'm beyond an acceptable level of picky.

There are very few foods I will actually eat. Of those, the texture has to be a certain way and the flavor has to be exactly what I expect. I've been known to pick through an order of french fries and throw away close to half of them because they're just not right.

My family always made fun of me for this, but I now know it was just another symptom of my Asperger's Syndrome.

This has come to be a problem since we moved to Oklahoma. The grocery stores out here just plain suck. I've always shopped at Publix (exclusive to the south eastern US) since I was a child. I can remember getting free cookies in the bakery with my mom when I was two years old. I even worked for Publix for a short while. They're a *GREAT* company and I can't recommend them enough.

I'm ranting now.

My point is, a lot of the products I bought at Publix don't exist out here. It took me about two months to learn what I can eat out here. I still don't have a comfortable diet yet. I honestly need to go shopping when the store is empty so I can figure something out.

Another problem is that I've been very sick for about six weeks. It has something to do with how I'm digesting things. I'm going to see a gastroenterologist (stomach doctor) tomorrow. I know they're going to try and get me to change my diet. I'd love to, but I can't. It's not something that I'm mentally capable of, to be honest. I've spent three years teaching myself to eat salad, and I can still only do that with baby spinich, greek dressing, and cheddar cheese cubes and nothing else. Any change in that make it inedible. I've only recently gotten to where I can enjoy that, and I can still only eat it once a month.

I hope the doctor understands that I'm not really just picky. It's part of a mental disorder. I'll post what happened later tomorrow.

UPDATE: No diet change needed. We actually found something in one of my tests that answered all the problems, and a week on an antibiotic will clear it right up. Yay!

A new world has opened up

Welcome to my new blog. My name is Jade. I have Asperger's Syndrome.

Until I was 26 years old, I had no clue what autism is. I'd just hear it in conversations and never ask. As far as I knew, it was just a learning disability. Little did I know, it was part of me and would change my life forever.

I was just diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome on Wednesday, November 14th, 2007. It took me eight months to find a doctor who works with adults who have autism. I also had to move across the country to do it. There were none in Florida.

I'm going to fill this blog with stories about my life. Looking back on things that were clues to my mental chemistry, interactions with other, and random things in my day that show ways that you can blend in to every day society if you work really hard at it.

In the end, I hope this blog can help people. Keep checking back for more.