My wrist

I've had wrist problems almost my whole life. The furthest back I really remember it was in 4th grade. Writing in cursive was one of the most painful things I went through while in school, and it was a requirement. No one believed me back then.

I don't think my parents caught on to the truth until I was out of high school and the complaining about pain didn't stop. Once it didn't seem like I was being lazy to get out of school work, they finally believed me that I was in agony doing anything that used my right wrist.

When I was 19, I finally saw a doctor. They told me that it must be carpal tunnel but I had to beg to get tested. Their reasoning was that I'd been using computers my whole life and computers cause that. Problem is, I'd been playing piano just as long, and I was taught very early the proper way to hold my wrists to prevent strain and damage.

When I was tested for carpal tunnel, it came back negative. Tendonitis was ruled out due to the prolonged duration of the symptoms. Without any further testing, I was told I had arthritis and it was left at that. My hand and wrist were never x-rayed. Shortly afterward, I became uninsured (when my parents fell ill with cancer). I haven't been tested since.

Over the past year or two, the pain in my wrist has gotten worse and worse every day. What I used to feel only when exerting myself heavily, I now feel almost 24/7. On top of that, I now have a hard mass inside my wrist that has continued to increase in size to where it's visible from the outside.

Why does this trouble me so much? It's because my symptoms echo those of a bone tumor (which can appear on bone or tendon). Granted, the vast majority of the time, those are benign. However, in cases where they're neglected as long as mine has been, the only form of removal is amputation. That would result in the complete loss of my right hand.

I'm trying not to get worked up about this too much, as I'm still waiting to see a doctor (I have insurance now, I just have to wait as none are seeing new patients at the moment). Still the thought is VERY worrying.

As much of a major life change as something like a full (dominant) hand amputation would bring, I'm worrying about something trivial in the broad spectrum; one of my autistic obsessive niche interests: video games. They can't be played with one hand.

This is why I've lately been on such a kick, playing everything I can get ahold of. Buying an XBox360 and getting my PS2 and PSP. There are a handful of Wii and DS games I would still be able to play one handed, but the number is much lower than I would like.

I honestly think losing my hand would be easier of a transition than losing one of my niche interests. Hopefully it won't come to pass, but we'll have to wait and see.

Apple TV

Not exactly an autism related video, but it has ties to it that I can't escape ;)

Nature

I think I'm nearing the end of my job hunt. I've had to go against my nature to do so, and have only been able to do so by understanding how I think, now. I'm learning more and more how my brain works because of my autism. I'm doing this without drugs, without therapy, and without assistance. It's *FAR* from easy, though, and I'm very drained right now.

This is proof to me that I was correct to self diagnose myself almost a year ago. I could have gone this far with only that, but the diagnosis back in November has quieted my nay-sayers in life.

I had to record this video twice due to technical issues. I got rid of the previous technical issues by playing music in the background rather than dubbing it in later, so I hope that works. Either way, this goes into some more detail about my job hunt and what I'm discussing about my nature.

Fail

I've been a musician as long as I've had memory. I think I'm up to about 22 years, now. I started with piano, moved to guitar, moved to bass guitar, and finally moved to drums. As my arthritis has gotten progressively worse, I've lost my ability to play the first three. Now, I only play drums.

When we moved out to Oklahoma, I was drumless. I sold my electric set a little while before we left Florida (story for another day). I found myself a beautiful acoustic set with a retail of $2400. It wasn't long before it was mine.

All was well at our old (sewagey) apartment. One side from us was vacant. The other side never minded if I played. That said, it was very difficult for me, because I don't like people hearing me practice because that's when I make all my mistakes.

When we moved in to our new apartment, that's where the problems came in. Both of our neighbors knew I had a kit and okayed certain times to play. The first time I played, our neighbor across the hall beat my door down to tell me to stop. His kid was napping. The second time I played, our downstairs neighbor came up to tell me I missed lots of beats and asked if his wife could watch me play for a while. That REALLY made me self-conscious. I stopped playing then.

I finally made the very hard choice to sell my beautiful new acoustic set and buy another electric. I finally found someone on Craig's List who would trade one for one with me. It was at a loss on my end, but I really needed to play again.

Tonight, Rachel and I drove 70 miles each way to trade kits. I brought the new one home, set it up, and started trying it out so I could get everything set where I wanted it. While using it, the downstairs neighbor came up and asked me to stop. They could hear everything.

Why do I even try? :(

Wrestling is Back!

We're finally settled in to our new apartment. The cable got turned on yesterday, and we got some great news. The way our complex is wired, they have to give the same service to everyone in our building.

As such, we get full cable (we only had the most basic package available) thanks to our neighbors. In return, our neighbors get the fastest speed cable internet connection that our provider offers. It's a great trade.

Thanks to having free (kind of) cable, I can watch televised wrestling again. This makes me happier than anything else in this move.

I normally go to bed around 9PM because I have to be up so early for work the next day, but I'm currently watching TNA wrestling, which is on until 10PM, and I'll do the same with WWE Raw on Monday which is on past 10PM.

Wrestling really brings out the obsessive geek in me! :)

The Simpsons Game

I love my DS way more than anyone should love an inanimate object. I've played about two-hundred of the games for the system, so it's safe to say I know what's good and what's not.

On Thursday, I picked up a game that I wasn't expecting much from, The Simpsons Game. I'd heard a lot of negative things about the console version, but a little positive about this one. I was really hesitant since it was made by EA. They've yet to release anything good for a portable system. Either way, I gave it a shot.

To my great surprise and pleasure, this game is amazing! It's a total throwback to early 1990's platform action games. It also has great puzzle elements to it, as well. One level was even a remake of Frogger. Throughout all of this, there are insane amounts of dialog from the characters. Most of the humor is very adult oriented, also. I've never laughed so hard while playing a video game (other than Rayman Ravid Rabbids on my Wii).

My only complaint about this game is how short it is. I'm 25% of the way through it with just over an hour put in to it. That said, I'll happily play it again when I'm done.

If you have a DS, I whole-heartedly recommend picking this title up. Buy it used, though, so you can return it when you finish the game in less than a week. :)

If there's enough interest in entries like this, I may do more. Leave a comment and I'll think about it.

UPDATE: I decided to make a new blog just for video game reviews. I think there's a need for one to be run by someone who's not completely jaded with the genre or being bribed by manufacturers. If you're interested, it can be found here: http://glitchgames.blogspot.com.

Wrestling

Today was Thanksgiving. Most normal people spent a good portion of the day watching football. I spent the day watching professional wrestling (mostly indy promotions).

I've been watching wrestling since I was five or six years old. I started with Hulk Hogan's (terrible) cartoon on Saturday mornings, and quickly moved on to WWF Superstars on Saturday afternoons. I've never stopped.

I know way more about wrestling than any person should. I've been to more shows than any fan should. I've met and talked to more wrestlers than anyone (outside the business) should. I have something like 30 wrestling t-shirts, most of them bought in the past two years. I own around 800 hours of wrestling DVDs.

I think it's safe to say that this is one of my obsessive niche interests.

Oh, and never get me started talking about wrestling. I won't shut up. Ever.

Symptoms

I think it would be a good idea to list some of my symptoms on here. Maybe you can see a few of these in yourself and they'll help you in some way. I'll probably forget several, but this is a good start, I think.

Social

• speaking literally
• taking other's statements literally
• unable to deal with unfamiliar situations
• uncomfortable with physical contact
• unable to follow rules that don't make sense
• vague instructions cause freezing up

Stimming Rituals

• leg fidgitting
• touching my lips
• stroking my beard
• cracking fingers/wrists/elbows/shoulders/ankles

Obsessive Niche Interests

• professional wrestling
• body modification (piercing, tattooing, etc)
• portable video games
• math based puzzle games
• tarantulas
• insects

Sensory

• disgusted by dry textures
• unable to stomach unfamiliar tastes
• ability to "feel" sounds