I finally told my boss, after work yesterday (aka 8AM today), that I am autistic. My main reasons are that a coworker is taking advantage of me which is easier because of my autism, and we're having a new supervisor come in, in June.
The coworker is really pushing me, right now. He pulls schemes that I'm not catching onto for weeks at a time, and telling everyone else that I've said things I haven't. Now, it's out in the open that he's doing this and he's actually on the chopping block because of it.
The new supervisor is an issue for me because it's another new person to get used to suddenly. I want him to know ahead of time that I have strange body postures and don't look people in the eyes because of autism, not that I'm dishonest or hiding things.
None of this is a problem, and my boss is happy it's out in the open. Life is easy again. God, I love having that piece of paper with an official diagnosis, now. It was really worth all the effort :)
Showing posts with label accomodations. Show all posts
Showing posts with label accomodations. Show all posts
Friday, May 9, 2008
Saturday, March 15, 2008
Labels
This was a post on Asperger Square 8. I hope they don't mine me posting it here, but it's something I really want to comment on.
What is this saying? Well, it's actually really simple.
I have high functioning autism. That label is actually a double edged sword. When I work with people, interact with people, or anything of the sort, and they're aware of my "high functioning autism" label; the way they view me is based on circumstances and changes frequently.
When I go for a job interview (or when working a job like I did at Hartford), and they know, they treat me like I'm an idiot because of it. I have autism. I must not be able to function without help at all times. This is not the case, of course.
That said, once I screw something up, I get the exact opposite: How can you screw up something so simple? You're "high functioning!"
This is the main problem with having a label like this. I am not my label. I have my own special set of strengths and weaknesses. Only by getting to know me will you get to know them. If you don't try, or I don't try, I'm set up to fail no matter what.
We need to move past these labels and just learn to help each other work toward common goals. Like mine, of being a functional member of society. That's all I want.
I am Joe’s (High) Functioning Label. I serve many purposes for people who like to discuss Joe. What I do for Joe himself is less clear, depending often on Joe’s Point of View. I attach myself to Joe’s Autism Label during the Diagnostic Evaluation, which can occur at any point in Joe’s life, though early childhood is best, if Joe desires to be taken at all seriously. Bonding tightly with Joe’s Autism Label, I have the power to make Joe’s Autism “mild,” or less real. (Please note: Though I am not an official part of the diagnosis, this does not make me any less real.)
In discussions of Joe, you may hear that Joe is Notlikemychild (NLMC). NLMC is simply another name for High Functioning Autism. Joe, like other persons with this form of Autism, does not self injure. Joe may have a history of suicide attempts. Joe may have damage to vital organs from years of alcoholic drinking. Joe may have scars from burning or cutting himself. These do not count. Joe is High Functioning; therefore these things have nothing to do with Joe’s Autism. Joe should really know better. Though he may have head-banged, bitten himself and pulled his hair out as a child, Joe no longer does these things (at least not that anyone knows about).
Joe has self care skills which are adequate. Joe’s fear of eviction due to his inability to throw anything away is a result of Joe’s Laziness, not Joe’s Autism. Joe’s fears of legal repercussions due to the bills he forgot to pay are signs of Joe’s Irresponsibility. People with Real Autism lack self care skills on a more fundamental level. Joe remembers to go to the toilet almost every time he should. Joe prepares meals for himself daily. Please do not ask me to be more specific. Joe’s Nutritional Deficiency is not my fault.
Joe may communicate well by typing. As Joe’s Functioning Label, one of my responsibilities is to ensure that Joe not use this skill to speak about Autism. I sometimes fail at this, and in these cases Joe may be subjected to harsh criticism, ridicule or even threats for having forgotten that he is NLMC.
Sometimes, I prevent Joe from needing accommodations in school, and later in the workplace. Often, Joe will be unemployed as an adult. Sometimes he is underemployed, working at low paying jobs which do not engage his interests or make use of his skills. Joe may misunderstand directions or find himself unable to break inefficient patterns, even when warned by his employer. Joe may have difficulty relating to co-workers, quickly finding himself without allies. He may misinterpret the culture of the business he works for, making remarks which are “inappropriate” or failing to appear at the Optionally Required Social Event.
When Joe is fired, I am there to remind him (and everyone else) that this is his own fault. When Joe protests that the employer’s failure to accommodate his Autism may be at least a part of the problem, everyone looks at me in disbelief. I am the evidence Joe needed nothing. I am Joe’s Functioning Label.
What is this saying? Well, it's actually really simple.
I have high functioning autism. That label is actually a double edged sword. When I work with people, interact with people, or anything of the sort, and they're aware of my "high functioning autism" label; the way they view me is based on circumstances and changes frequently.
When I go for a job interview (or when working a job like I did at Hartford), and they know, they treat me like I'm an idiot because of it. I have autism. I must not be able to function without help at all times. This is not the case, of course.
That said, once I screw something up, I get the exact opposite: How can you screw up something so simple? You're "high functioning!"
This is the main problem with having a label like this. I am not my label. I have my own special set of strengths and weaknesses. Only by getting to know me will you get to know them. If you don't try, or I don't try, I'm set up to fail no matter what.
We need to move past these labels and just learn to help each other work toward common goals. Like mine, of being a functional member of society. That's all I want.
Monday, November 19, 2007
Rough day at work
Today was hell at work. I work for an (unnamed) major company in a call center environment. It's extremely corporate.
I have arthritis. I know I'm young, but I've had it as far back as when I was ten. As such, I have trouble using a mouse at work. I need a trackball. This is where the trouble began.
I wasn't allowed to bring my own trackball. I've done this everywhere I've ever worked and never had any issues. They needed a doctor's note. No problem, I thought. I was wrong.
I got the form to have a doctor fill out back on my second day. My doctor back in Florida wouldn't fill it out without seeing me. That's not so easy when you're in Oklahoma. On top of that, I couldn't find a doctor out here who was accepting new patients. Finally, I ended up at the Urgent Care (one step below the emergency room) for something, and the doctor who did my follow-up filled it out for me.
I submitted the form at work and waited two weeks. Finally, it was approved. I couldn't bring my own and they would order one for me. Here's a trimmed down version of the email I got:
Yeah, that was Greek to me, too. I contacted my boss's boss and got the following two responses back to back:
Because of my Asperger's, I immediately put myself in "After Call Work" and called the help desk, who couldn't help me at all. I asked my boss, who scolded me for using ACW, then called her boss. She then told my boss that she "specifically told me not to do it in ACW, and to do it on my break." I got so frustrated by that, that I almost quit. I hate when someone lies about what they say to me. Thankfully, I saved the email.
An hour later, I got the following email from my boss:
Good! The trackball crap is out of my hands finally! It sucks that I have to wait so long for it, now (especially when it's the same model that I already own and offered to bring in).
On my break, towards the end of the day, I talked to my boss about the problems with the "after call work." I told her that it really upset me when I was told that her boss specifically said not to use it. I showed her the email and she said it was implied. I asked her if she remembered my first day with her and what I said about autism. She said yes. I asked her if she remembered me asking for her to be clear because I take everything literally. She smiled and said yes. I asked her if she remembered me telling her boss the same thing. She laughed and said yes. I think she knew where I was going with this. I asked her to reread the email and tell me literally what it said. She said, "Get off the phone, go into ACW, and call help desk right now." I smiled, she laughed, and everything is okay now.
This never would have been possible before I was diagnosed. People would have just accused me of being difficult or lazy and that would have been it. I may have even been fired. It's nice to have people exersise a bit of patience with me finally!
UPDATE: I finally got my trackball as of 12-3-07. It's the wrong model, but they'll let me use it until the correct one arrives. Woo! :)
I have arthritis. I know I'm young, but I've had it as far back as when I was ten. As such, I have trouble using a mouse at work. I need a trackball. This is where the trouble began.
I wasn't allowed to bring my own trackball. I've done this everywhere I've ever worked and never had any issues. They needed a doctor's note. No problem, I thought. I was wrong.
I got the form to have a doctor fill out back on my second day. My doctor back in Florida wouldn't fill it out without seeing me. That's not so easy when you're in Oklahoma. On top of that, I couldn't find a doctor out here who was accepting new patients. Finally, I ended up at the Urgent Care (one step below the emergency room) for something, and the doctor who did my follow-up filled it out for me.
I submitted the form at work and waited two weeks. Finally, it was approved. I couldn't bring my own and they would order one for me. Here's a trimmed down version of the email I got:
Hello Jade,
[[Jade Walker trackball.doc]]
I have attached your authorization form to this email. This form needs to be attached to your order with ISD on line services.
I do not place the order so please contact the help desk if you are not sure how to order this item.
This governance form must completed and the approval must be attached with your order to ISD,
the governance form can be accessed through this link: [link]
Yeah, that was Greek to me, too. I contacted my boss's boss and got the following two responses back to back:
I will get with the facilities manager and will have definitive answers in the morning.
In the interim, go ahead and contact the helpdesk to walk you through ordering the trackball.
Because of my Asperger's, I immediately put myself in "After Call Work" and called the help desk, who couldn't help me at all. I asked my boss, who scolded me for using ACW, then called her boss. She then told my boss that she "specifically told me not to do it in ACW, and to do it on my break." I got so frustrated by that, that I almost quit. I hate when someone lies about what they say to me. Thankfully, I saved the email.
An hour later, I got the following email from my boss:
I got some clarification on the trackball ordering process. Going forward, you aren't required to do anything at time this. If you receive any emails about this process, these should be redirected to [her boss] or myself. You do not need to save the emails or forms you've received in email, and there will be no need to contact the Help Desk, [facilities manager], HR, or anyone else with exception of [her boss] or myself. Everything has been taken care of to begin the process.
[her boss] is working from home today and submitted the forms for you today. This will begin the process of ordering the trackball. I also learned this is usually a 3 to 6 week process, as you can see below. I know you've been frustrated about the process and I can understand that, I really wanted to assist you today but we needed additional support in order to submit all of these forms. Now that we've learned the exact process, please see the expectations below. I know you inquired about a rush process before, and there isn't one that exists so the process outlined below will be the process followed.
From: my boss
To: her boss
I spoke with [facilities manager] and he gave me further clarification on this process. [facilities manager] said the attached Word document and the governance form have to come from Jade's manager. [facilities manager] said I could probably fill it all out but it has to be emailed from your email address to [misc HR guy]. [misc HR guy] will then review the information and return the approval to your email address. At that time, we have to save his email and both of these forms to our desktop, open a hardware request on an ISD service ticket, and submit this. ISD will order the hardware and it'll be shipped to ISD, then to our local office. [facilities manager] said turn around time could be several weeks, especially with a request being this close to the holidays and people out of the office, etc. [facilities manager] said he could step in and offer assistance if the mouse wasn't received by Christmas but for him to get involved prior to this wouldn't be beneficial or speed the process along because the process literally takes that long.
Good! The trackball crap is out of my hands finally! It sucks that I have to wait so long for it, now (especially when it's the same model that I already own and offered to bring in).
On my break, towards the end of the day, I talked to my boss about the problems with the "after call work." I told her that it really upset me when I was told that her boss specifically said not to use it. I showed her the email and she said it was implied. I asked her if she remembered my first day with her and what I said about autism. She said yes. I asked her if she remembered me asking for her to be clear because I take everything literally. She smiled and said yes. I asked her if she remembered me telling her boss the same thing. She laughed and said yes. I think she knew where I was going with this. I asked her to reread the email and tell me literally what it said. She said, "Get off the phone, go into ACW, and call help desk right now." I smiled, she laughed, and everything is okay now.
This never would have been possible before I was diagnosed. People would have just accused me of being difficult or lazy and that would have been it. I may have even been fired. It's nice to have people exersise a bit of patience with me finally!
UPDATE: I finally got my trackball as of 12-3-07. It's the wrong model, but they'll let me use it until the correct one arrives. Woo! :)
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